The story
He misses the boy before the world taught him fear.
At nine, the schoolyard names him too loud, too soft, too strange, and he learns the first lesson of not feeling. Now the news and noise drag at him, so he turns off the phone, chases fireflies, calls his mama a star, and reaches for the kid who still runs through rain without an umbrella.
Lyrics
Verse 1
I was nine when I first felt it That ache that had no name Standing in the school yard watching Kids who played a different game I didn't fit the mold they made me Too loud too soft too strange too real And nine years old is way too young To learn the art of how to not feel
Pre-Chorus
But nine is when the world decides Who you're supposed to become
Chorus
At nine I believed in everything At nine the sky had no ceiling At nine I told God my secrets And I think He was still listening I'd give anything to go back To the boy who didn't overthink Who ran through rain without an umbrella And wasn't afraid to sink I want to live like I'm nine again
Verse 2
At nine my daddy was a giant My mama was the safest place The backyard was a whole world waiting And time moved at a human pace Now I'm grown and everything is faster The news the noise the never enough I'm twenty-something going on a hundred And nine-year-old me would say lighten up
Chorus
At nine I believed in everything At nine the sky had no ceiling At nine I told God my secrets And I think He was still listening I'd give anything to go back To the boy who didn't overthink Who ran through rain without an umbrella And wasn't afraid to sink I want to live like I'm nine again
Verse 3
So tonight I'm gonna catch some fireflies Gonna lay out in the yard Gonna call my mama just to tell her That I love her that she's a star Gonna turn my phone off till tomorrow Gonna let the world keep spinning without me Cause somewhere deep inside this tired man There's a kid who still believes
Bridge
Nine was the last year I was honest Nine was the last year I was brave And if I can find that kid inside me Maybe I can still be saved
The sound
Gentle indie-country at 86 BPM. Soft fingerpicked acoustic guitar, ambient piano, light percussion with shakers. Builds to a fuller arrangement on final chorus with strings and harmonies. Childlike wonder meets adult melancholy. Zach Bryan meets Bon Iver. Intimate, nostalgic, bittersweet.